12/03/2019
HUFFPOST UK - LIFE (Online)
Don't Tell Me Not To Take My OCD Medication
Many still struggle to see medication for mental health as innately important in the same way we do for physical health – I once felt the same, but not anymore
Last night, dozing off in bed, I pulled open my bedside drawer and fumbled with a packet of pills. The rustling of the foil roused my sleepy fiancé who – always alert to the possibility of a surprise biscuit – demanded to know what I was doing. “Taking my brain pills,” I answered. “No, don’t. Pills are bad. Don’t take them,” he replied. Jumping up to get a glass of water I just smiled and said “You don’t mean that do you?” And he didn’t.
I know he didn’t because a few years ago he’d said the same thing. Repeatedly. Seriously. Early on in our relationship I told him I had OCD. I’d never told anyone I’d dated this before, hiding any quirks, fears or needs. But I told him because I trusted him. So I was bothered when he quickly started telling me he didn’t think I should be taking the pills I do. That he thought I could get by without them.
I take 20mg of citalopram and have done for about seven years. It took me a long time to agree to take pills. Throughout my teens I refused, doing countless months of therapy, trying literally everything from CBT to hypnosis. Finally, I submitted and, after a while of finding the right one, the difference was remarkable.