Corona Diaries: Opening Up
Uh, so yeah, it's actually happened. Pubs, bars, cafés, restaurants…they've all opened up, albeit outside only. The family WhatsApp with the in-laws is peppered with photos of long awaited nights out: dinners at 4pm (because you gotta be quick if you want a reservation at a normal hour), after work pints and trips to countryside cottages. My dog walks have been redirected so we can wander down the high road and enjoy the sights and smells of friends meeting up over pizza or piling into pub gardens at happy hour. Coming, as it has, with the arrival of Spring, it's brought a whole new sense of the world reawakening during this time of year. I have no idea if I’m happy because of the sunshine or because everyone seems so damn joyous.
In true me form however I can't quite enjoy it all that easily. While I'm delighted for the swirl of people going in and out of the pub garden at the end of my road, I haven't actually set foot in there myself. I'm certainly much more cautious than I was the first time lockdown lifted - when I drove straight up north with my husband to visit family and friends, heading back to restaurants with glee - or the second (I think!?) time when I actually went to the theatre if you can believe it. A year of mistakes, missteps and sadness has left its mark and I can't help but worry about the potential impact a few months down the line. Even my more careful forays back in to socialising - a picnic with friends, a garden birthday tea with family - leave me rehashing every moment with growing anxiety for days afterwards.
I know, by the way, that it's not necessarily helpful to obsess over what might happen. I know it's essential that the world starts getting back to 'normal' and that we're in a pretty good position right now for that to happen. I'm genuinely excited by everyone's experiences popping up all over social media at the moment and, in many situations, jealous. Soon I'm sure I will join them and in some small ways I have. On Monday I swanned into my local bookshops for the first time (as I moved recently and they were, of course, closed then) and purchased books in real life for the first time in ages. I've also been seriously considering actually sitting outside a coffee shop with a book or my laptop and a glass jangling with espresso and ice. Wild.
I know too though that for every person queueing for the pub or outside TK Maxx, there's someone else horrified at the thought of stepping outside the controllable little bubble they've built up around themselves. Whether that's for health reasons, anxiety or a need to ensure a negative COVID test for work, obviously that will impact the decisions they feel able to make at this time. My greatest hope is simply that this time we get it right, that there's little damage done and that we're truly on the way back to real, lovely life. Outside of that I simply wish for everyone to move at a pace that suits them. If you're not ready for pubs yet, not a problem. If friends and family in your back garden is as far as you're willing to go for now, have a marvellous time! Naturally, we should all behave like responsible adults, we should all honour the collective responsibility to cause no harm to those around us and to do everything we can to keep moving in the right direction. Basically, what I'm saying is, don't judge others, don't act like a d*ck, stay safe and have an amazing Summer.